I used to think that practice was a waste of time. I believed it was better to spend my time completing paintings to sell. Looking back, I realise this was a rookie mistake, and it's a bit embarrassing to admit. It took me a while to reach a point where I understood the true value of time and practice.

If you are reading this blog post, please hear me, you are good enough to start painting now. You don’t need to wait, you can’t get better until you start. And yes, your results will likely not be what you want; that is the path. Improvement happens one step at a time. For me, my biggest hurdle with painting is starting or restarting after a break. Once I start, even in a small way, it feels like a complete victory. No matter where you are, start, it is the hardest part for me and maybe for you. We’ve got this.

I’ve been exploring Notan as a new tool to help me to see the structure of the painting. The balance of dark and light gives the image a solid base. Notan takes away unnecessary details that can easily distract the viewer. It cuts straight to the important values. I’m captivated.

My interview with Kelly is live. Gosh she asks the best questions and gets to the gems. I loved chatting with her and sharing my journey. We talk about how I was looking for a way to create a sustainable daily art practice that could fit with me and my life. I wanted to build something for me but I had no idea how to do this. My first #20for20 challenge was the thing I needed to help me build my own practice in a way that was right for me. There are ups and downs but thats all part of it, as is checking my thinking and checking if what I am thinking right now is helpful or not, mindset shift with the help of my art buddies.

My painting practice has taught me something very interesting. It has shown me the value of committing to a regular twenty-minute painting plan. I need a structure that is easy to get to, easy to start and has nothing I have to think about or make decisions about. It needs to be ready to go laid out in front of me, all I need to do is turn up.

I have this with my art and now I have set about doing the same for an exercise routine.

Turns out for me twenty minutes on a consistent basis is enough to get the results I am looking for.

A twenty minute block of time to allow myself the freedom to explore my painting process could be considered as not enough.

I’ve had to come to the conclusion, hell yeah its enough time.

This process structure works for me and I’m excited at what I’m discovering. Finding what works for me in my current life circumstances is true freedom.

My landscape painting Hidden Gem has been selected as a finalist in the WWAS 5x7 landscape prize. I'm not going to lie, but it feels terrific to have a painting selected as a finalist. This is the second time I have had a painting selected, I could get used to that feeling. I have entered plenty of painting prizes in the past and felt the bitter sting of rejection. Like most other things in life, the first time hurt the most after that it got a little easier, and I am glad I did not let the initial rejections stop me.

I used to think selling paintings was the goal of being a painter, don’t get me wrong love selling paintings. As good as it feels to sell a painting once the rush is over, I sort of feel a little empty. I believe I had missed a vital ingredient ME.

I could turn out paintings that sold but I often had a sinking feeling, like something was missing. It sometimes felt like I was disrespecting myself in a way I could not understand.

I decided to lean in and work out what was going on for me. At the same time, I came across a #hashtag challenge on Instagram. I’ve mentioned this challenge in earlier blogs hosted by Kelly www.learntopaintpodcast.com the 20for20challenge is 20 minutes for 20 days showing up for yourself and your art most gently and kindly.

Little did I understand the impact of this challenge. I noticed a fresh new love for my painting emerge, it felt like a part of me was finally noticed and loved without the need to be anything other than what it is.

The fear of making mistakes almost robbed me of my painting journey. I can safely look back now but back then fear had its grip on me and my future. I will always be grateful to my wonderful art teacher Sandy for providing a space and the antidote to my fear. Hers was a potent combination of truth, compassion, heart and a firm stance in the face of fear.

The first time I heard her words “There are no mistakes in art” I could not take that in, although a part of me knew these words were what I needed. They challenged my fear, how could there be no mistakes in art? What am I supposed to do now I don’t have a fear to hold onto? I decided to trust this new idea from my teacher who carried a pure authority to stand with us as we faced our fears most gently and powerfully.

Giving myself the space and time to paint has been a battle I have been fighting for a long time. The one thing that connects me to myself and revives me is the one thing I have struggled to make a priority in my life. Maybe it's because I am getting older and life seems to be going by I value my time and how I spend it? I don't know......it's interesting to me that I gave more weight and time to the things I thought I should not what actually gave me life. In the end it's my decision as to where I place my time and effort.

Reducing the canvas size for my practice has been good for storage cleanup and easily fitted into my workspace. The down sides were trying to work out brush sizes and the best way to navigate composition and overlaying oil paint. I worked to a twenty-minute time limit plus the reference images were already lined up. I knew I was learning a lot which caused a bit of frustration when I could not get the result I wanted. Bringing my mind back to the fact that these were practice canvases nothing more helped a lot!

I've coined a new term for myself: PFA, which stands for Painting For Approval. Admittedly, I was initially reluctant to acknowledge this, but I'm glad I did. They say that naming something helps to tame it, right? In the early stages of my painting journey, I thought that creating art that appealed to other people was the right thing to do, until I could not stand the thought of painting yet another peony. I started to resent my painting practice because it felt like I was only painting to seek approval. You've probably heard of Picasso's blue period; well, this is my Painting for Approval period. It may be embarrassing to admit, but I will take the lessons from this and move forward..

As a painter, I was eager to ‘“find my style” like it was the holy grail which it probably is. What I did not know was that it can’t be purchased or sold or manufactured or forced or rushed. For me I had to stop trying to find it and just make a commitment to show up for my art practice on a consistent basis for art sake nothing else.

Who decides the value of something? These items were rejected from the kid’s lunch boxes yet I saw the value in what they offered me in my painting practice. It’s a matter of perspective.

A part of learning to paint for me is deciding what I like and don’t like. It can be tricky at first it feels good when others like and buy my work. And this became like a trap I wanted to move to new ideas and work but the fear of my work not being liked stopped me. I eventually had to reassess where I placed my value when it came to my painting. The value for me is showing up to my painting process consistently even for twenty minutes, not a perfect-looking painting but a painting that shows it’s okay to take a risk in life.

I have lowered my expectations from needing to produce an amazing painting every time I faced my easel to a minimum of twenty minutes of practice. Getting started was one of the hardest parts for me this seems to be working for now plus once I’ve started I find it much easier to continue. I am working on building my painting skills I use the twenty minutes to focus on an area of painting I would like to improve. I love seeing the benefits of the consistency of practice, that’s why I keep doing it.

Who gets to decide if my painting process is good enough? Weird question to ask but important, that I was giving way too much weight to my inner critic without really realising it.

I learn a lot from painting a lot! I knew I enjoyed painting from life but I did not realise how much until I worked for 20 days straight on photo references. Using photos as a reference is smart and makes sense, but I was feeling drained and resisting the process which led me to consider why I felt his way.

I started a daily painting habit just over a year ago to get me into the studio consistently, and to discover the structures I needed to have in place to continue.

I had no idea how to do this I went on a Google search. I found www.learntopaintpodcast.com Kelly has a treasure trove of generous painters sharing how they structure their studio time to make the most of their painting practice.

I keep my 20-minute practice paintings as simple as possible, with simple subjects but complex possibilities. Pears have a simple shape which is satisfying, but when you consider the form with tone and the colours in regard to warm and cool to create volume and turn it gets interesting. I have the choice to keep it simple of lean into the complexity, I enjoy having the option depending on how I want to proceed. So long as I turn up each day I’m happy.